The following is an email making the rounds that George Carlin did NOT write.

Subject: A Bad American

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.

I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not

some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to

give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne,

Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in

English.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular

opinions or actions. I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of

>July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more

enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are

footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you

haven't begun to be enlightened. I believe everyone has a right to pray

to his or her God or gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This

>also

applies to sexuality.

My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those

experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty

years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned

any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so

shut-the-#$%!-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend

Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he

always part of the problem and not the solution.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're

>running

from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass

over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I

don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation

>the

world for the next four years.

I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to

sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their

>cause.

These people should be targets.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license

should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus

until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.

I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two

parents.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but

please don't pretend they are a political statement.

I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how

desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe

>otherwise.

If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you too are a BAD American please forward this to everyone

you know. We need our country back.